New York Kid Has Nicki Minaj And John Starks Appear At His Bar Mitzvah
Nicki Minaj: “How old are you?” Matt: “Old enough”
Riveting performance from Nicki here
Only time I was ever jealous of the Jews was when it came time for Bar Mitzvahs. For my confirmation I think my family had brunch and I got like 400 bucks worth of United States savings bonds. Meanwhile all the Jews were partying their dicks off and they got like 5,000 dollars cash in gifts. Confirmation gets its dick kicked in by Bar Mitzvahs.
Especially if you’re one of those ultra loaded Jews like Matt here. I mean Nicki Minaj has gotta cost like 500 grand to do some shit like this no? Then you factor in John Starks’ appearance fee and this Bar Mitzvah probably cost $501,000. Thats fucking crazy.
At least they got their money’s worth with Nicki though. And I’m not talking about her actual performance. Her lip syncing Superbass in that twitter video is perhaps the most mailed in music performance ever. But thats not why they hired her. They hired here to show up with her tits and ass out for all the boys becoming men. The Bar Mitzvah is a celebration of a child joining adulthood. What better way to usher in adulthood than hiring a sex bomb performer to come and give everyone boners? I mean look at this picture right here:
All of these kids learned how to do the flip-up-into-the-waistband move that night. Especially this kid:
Who has a “Uh oh, I need a new pair of underwear and we’re only an hour into this Bar Mitzvah” look on his face. Thats what you get when you go all out with Nicki Minaj hand placement though:
Not quite as good as his cocky ass buddy though:
That smirk is a direct result of “My hand is dangerously close to Nick Minaj’s ass.” Good for these kids. Cocky as fuck. I mean the one dude Matt said he was “old enough.” Old enough for what, Matt? There are grown ass rappers with like 12 inch dicks that arent “enough” for Nicki Minaj. What the fuck are you old enough for? They’re gonna grow up to become the most entitled obnoxious kids ever, but right now they’re just a bunch of innocent horny teenagers creepin on one of the sexiest chicks out there. Can’t hate that.